My Big, GIGANTIC Birthday Present

You may think by the title of this post, that you are going to read about some fabulous present I got for my birthday. But nope! It is, in fact, a poop story! The fabulous birthday present post should be tomorrow.

The Princess has been pretty regular with her poops. Generally twice in the morning, once around noon, sometimes one in late afternoon, and one in the evening around 6. (Yes Princess Poops A Lot actually does poop a lot!) Well, lately her poops have been more sporadic. I have heard this can happen when the babies start solids, and the Princess has been eating solids more regularly now.

Last week, on my birthday to be exact (Tuesday), the Princess didn't poop ALL DAY! I was curious, but not too concerned. I know that constipation can't be proven until the baby actually poops and it is hard. So I was just waiting to see what would happen.

Oh, and you know what happened!

As we were getting ready for bed, the King and I were discussing the lack of poop for the day. I had just put the Princess's diaper on for the night, (A huge 4 layered dipe that makes her look like Humpty Dumpty!) when we heard it! Oh, I knew what it was, and I knew it was going to be bad!

I think the Princess had saved up all her poop for that one moment. IT WAS HUMONGUS!!!!!! Filled the entire diaper! I can not even describe to you how huge it was! Just know that it was BIG!

And I truly think the Princess smiled. She knew she had saved that gigantic poop for my birthday. "Happy Birthday Momma!" Thanks Princess!

It's a Gas!

Welcome to another episode of Adventures in Poop.

In this episode we find the Princess on the royal changing table. The Queen is changing the royal dirty diaper. Since the Princess has recently pooped, the Queen is not afraid of getting pooped on. She leans in closer to clean the Princess's girl parts. With the Queen's face very close to the royal botton, the Princess passes the royal gas. Very loudly, and a little bit wet! I guess that says it all.

The End

Poop Stories-Not For the Weak!

A few weeks ago at church, a couple of friends of mine were chatting quietly and then burst out laughing. I, being the nosey Queen that I am, asked what was so funny. One friend (we'll call her Sarah, because, well, that's her name) said, it's a poop story, you don't want to know.

I don't want to hear a poop story?? You bet I do! I love poop stories.

So she told me. And I burst out laughing! Because it is Hi-La-Rious! You will love it, too. Thankfully she said I could share it here with you!

Sarah's husband, (Daddy, for this story) was home with their two girls, Older Girl (OG) age 5, and Younger Girl (YG) age 2. OG was getting ready to take a bath, so she had stripped down to nothing. YG, not wanting to be outdown, had also stripped down. The two girls were playing nicely together in the dining room. Daddy was in the kitchen putting away groceries (how nice is this Daddy? Taking care of the girls by himself and putting away groceries!). Not wanting the girls to get into the groceries, the Daddy put the baby gate up between the dining room and the kitchen. He could still see the girls while he was working.

Before long YG was standing at the gate. She was holding something out to her Daddy. Daddy went over to see what gift his young darling had brought him. Daddy took the gift from her hand with out looking at it.

The gift? You guessed it! A turd!!

Daddy stood for a moment in shock. Then his mind went through the options of what to do with this precious gift. Should he put it in a plastic bag and then in the garbage? No, that would still stink. Should he throw it out in the yard with the dog poop? No.

Then Daddy realized, I'm standing here with a turd in my hand! It's a turd! Go flush it down the toilet!

My friend Sarah, then shared the story about her OG and Daddy.

When OG was very tiny, Daddy decided that he should take on the resposibility of a poopy diaper change. Being the creative Daddy that he is, he thought he would put the tiny baby on the changing table facing him instead of sideways. When he pulled the diaper off, the OG sprayed a big, runny poop all over Daddy.

Did anyone else see that coming? This Daddy gets it good!

My other friend, also named Sarah (why do my friends all have the same name?), is OG and YG's aunt. She chimed in that OG once put poop on her face.

What?

Apparently OG, at around age two, was being changed by Aunt Sarah. OG reached around to her behind and put poop on her hand, then proceeded to put poop on Aunt Sarah's face. This is extrememly funny because Aunt Sarah is a major germaphobe!

Aunt Sarah had a story of her own. This Sarah has two boys, OB age 3 and YB age 1. When YB was a tiny baby, Sarah and her family were out and about, running errands and the like. It was soon time to change the tiny baby's diaper. The ingenious Mommy decided to change the tiny baby on her lap (I have done this more than once myself). With the diaper off, the tiny baby sprayed a huge poop all over the family's brand new van door. The OB kept saying, Bubby pooped all over the van Mommy. Again, this friend is extrememly germaphobic. Sarah said she found dried, crusted poop all over her van for months!

Sadly there were no poop stories about OB, but maybe in the future. There is still time for him!

Adventures in Poop!

I like to call this addition, "Finally Daddy Gets It!" Here goes...

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, the King and the Princess were having some much loved Daddy/Daughter time.

The Princess had taken a good nap for the King, and upon her waking, the King changed her royal wet diaper like a good King should.

While playing a few minutes later, the King noticed the Princess make her lovely sound that she makes while dirtying the royal diaper. Not particularly wanting to change another diaper so close to the last one, the King decided to check if the Princess had, in fact, pooped or just "cut."

(Now I have to interject the story to ask, how do you check for a poopy diaper? I know how I would have done it!)

The King put his finger in the back of the diaper to look down the back. He did, in fact, put his finger in a giant glob of royal poop!

The End

I just have to say...Glad it wasn't me this time!

Adventures In Poop 5-The Sling Incident

Once upon a time, a land far, far away, the Princess awoke ready for a new day. The day was Sunday, and the Princess wanted to go to church to worship God. The Queen and King wanted the Princess to look beautiful at church, so the Queen took lots of time getting the Princess ready.

The Queen put a pretty dress on the Princess with a matching onsie, tights, and bloomers. The Queen then put the Princess in her sling, and off they went to church.

After arriving at church the Queen needed to finish some things up in the office. While sitting at the computer, the Queen heard the royal poop sound. She knew it was a bad one because of the stink!

The Queen went into the King's office to change the royal diaper. The King looked up from his desk and said, There's something on your sling.

Indeed, the royal poop had gone through a onsie, tights, bloomers, dress, and a sling.

When the queen looked in the royal diaper bag, all she had was a sweat suit for the Princess to wear.

And no socks!

The End

A Creative Grandpa-A Poop Story

A man I know relayed this story that I thought was ingenious, and very funny. We will call the man Mike because, well, that's his name. I'm sure you don't know him!

Mike's wife and daughter had gone shopping, leaving the young, diapered granddaughter with grandpa. Mike and little girl were having a fun day together when little girl had a rather large poop. In Mike's words from head to toe.


Not wanting to deal with the situation, Mike called his wife and daughter to find out how long they'd be. Sadly for Mike, they were still a half an hour from home. Mike knew he could not let little girl sit in the poop for that long.


Mike thought about the situation and the best way to deal with it. He finally sat the little girl in the bath tub and used the detatchable sprayer to wash her off.


Mike is probably not the first person to come up with this cleaning method, but I was pretty impressed.


Do you have a poop story to share. I would love to publish it here or link up to your blog. Please e-mail me at adventures in poop (at) live *dot* com.

The Onsie Saga Continued

So yesterday I was getting the Princess dressed. And I always have a hard time picking out her clothes. I want her to look darling, but still be comfortable. She is only 4 1/2 months after all, and I haul her around everywhere. A mini skirt and tights with a cute little sweater does fit into the "darling" category (and we do have a couple of outfits like that), but when we are just hanging around the house or the office, not too comfy.

Finally I picked out a pair of jeans and a fleece sweatshirt. Very warm on a very cold January day, pretty comfortable (Thats what I would wear to be comfortable), and super cute. But of course I needed a onsie to go on underneath the sweatshirt. A cold belly is not so good, you know.

The fleece sweatshirt is purple, and the Princess looks gorgeous in purple. So I went searching for a purple onsie to match. (I have major issues with matching!) The Princess has one that is a light purple, not quite a lavender, that has dark purple, sparkly hearts on it. Perfect!

While putting on the onsie, I realized, not so perfect. This particular onsie is a turtle neck. I thought to myself, if what I think might happen happens, this is not going to be pretty. But I took the risk.

Don't know what I'm refering to? Read The Thing About Onsies.

Guess what? It happened. And it was not pretty. Thankfully my friend Jess commented on the other post and left a great tip. And I used it! Thanks Jess.

My other friend Jess also left a comment to the effect of "your kid must poop alot." Yes, my friend Jess (and blogdom), the Princess does poop alot. Thus the name Princess Poops Alot!

Let me take a moment to share with you about my friends named Jess. Both are great women, wonderful mothers, Pastor's wives (yay!), and just all around good friends. One friend Jess I've known since college, know pretty well, and lives far away. The other friend Jess I met only a couple of years ago, would like to know better, and live (somewhat) close by. The friends Jess do not know each other. (I get rabbit trails from the King. He's good at them!)

The Thing About Onsies

I love onsies! I think they are great! Here are a few things I love about them.

1. In the winter they cover the baby's belly and keep it warm.

2. In the summer the baby can just wear a onsie and keep cool.

3. We have lots of cute onesies.

-a pink camo onsie

-a pink onsie with zebras on it

-one that says "my daddy is a rock star"

-and many, many more

4. They come in a rainbow of colors so they can match any outfit.

Here is what I do not love about onsies:

When the Princess poops up her back (see here to learn more), it is impossible to get the onsie off.

There are only two ways to get a poopy onsie off a baby. And neither are fun.

1. Take the onsie off over the baby's head. This would be the usual way to take off a onsie. Unsnap the bottom and then take off like a t-shirt. The problem with taking a poopy onesie off this way is the poop goes over the baby's head with the onesie. Yuck!

2. Take the onesie off over the baby's bottom. This is my prefered way to take off a poopy diaper, but it still poses a couple of problems. The first problem being, you are still dragging poop everywhere. And usually it goes everywhere. The Princess is famous for putting her foot in the poop part of a poopy onsie! The second problem is actually getting the onsie off this way. The neck hole is not generally made to go over a baby's belly and diaper (or naked, poopy bottom).

Has anyone else had this dilema? Please tell me I am not alone!

It Has A Mind Of It's Own

So yesterday the Princess was playing in her exersaucer when she made a royal poop. Now you would think that because the Princess was sitting down the poop would stay in the bottom portion of the royal diaper. That's what I would think. I was taught in gradeschool that because of the gravitational pull of the earth, things on the earth go down.

Apparently poop is not subject to the law of gravity!

The royal poop went up the back of her diaper, but luckily stopped before exiting the diaper (This is not always the case.).

As I was changing the royal poopy diaper, I contemplated the poop and the various places it ends up.

Usually when wearing a disposible diaper, the royal poop ends up up. Up the back of the Princess. I am not sure how poop defies the law of gravity, but it almost always does.

When wearing a cloth diaper, the royal poop somehow ends up down the leg. (I think this is user error on the part of the Queen. I need to play with the tightness around the legs a bit.) Even though this is messy, it makes more sense to me. Poop should go down.

Often the poop goes up the front as well. This can be a little tricky, especially with a girl. We don't like poop in the "girl parts."

On one occaision I found poop on the back of the Princess's hip. I'm not exactly sure how it got there, but there it was. She must have twirled in her diaper or something.

The most outrageous poop place to date: During one royal diaper change there was poop in the crease of her hip. You know where her leg moves. Now this might not sound so strange, it's close to where the poop would gather in the diaper. What made it so outrageous was that there was NO OTHER POOP ANYWHERE IN THE DIAPER! I cannot wrap my mind around how the poop traveled from her poop puter outer to her hip without getting anywhere else in her diaper.

I guess it just goes to show you that poop has a mind of it's own! It can go anywhere it wants!

A Great Poop Story

I was reading Mommin' It Up (a great blog that I love) this morning, and Jenny posted a great poop story about her son. You've got to read it here!

Adventures In Poop 4

Today the Queen had some work to do, so the Princess spent some Daddy time with the King. Upon her return, the Queen was told the King had to change a royal diaper that was "weird." "How weird?" the Queen wondered. "Kind of hard, solid. See for yourself." The royal diaper was saved and sitting on a nearby table.

So with the Princess in one hand, the Queen carefully opened the royal diaper to check out the "weird" royal poop.

Normal!

Adventures In Poop 3

In this episode of Adventures In Poop, we find ourselves at the royal changing table. The Princess has just finished filling the royal diaper (a whole 5 minutes after getting a new one!), and the Queen was ready to change it. Unknown to the Queen, the royal poop had gone all the way up the Princess's back (the Princess was in a disposable diaper, the cloth ones don't do that). The Queen found the poop up the back by sticking her hand in it! While cleaning up the royal poop, the Princess peed on the Queen!

THE END

2 Adventures In Poop Stories

These are 2 Adventures In Poop stories that I first posted on my family blog. This is how I came up with the title to this blog. Enjoy!

Adventures in Poop

Starring Princess Poops Alot

A long time ago (actually early this morning) in a land far, far away (actually in a pack and play in our bedroom), the Princess awoke from her beauty sleep. Even though the night was not over, the Princess was very happy to be awake and thought that the King and Queen should be awake too. The Princess cooed and made lots of happy noises until the Queen was awake (the King stayed asleep through this entire story). Suddenly the Princess made a noise unlike any other. It was loud and reminded the Queen of the noises the King makes.The Princess continued to make these scary and also funny noises for quite a while. Finally the Princess was finished filling her royal diaper. And the Queen got up from the bed to change her. Unfortunately the Queen made a frightful discovery. The Princess had leaked through her royal PJ's. So the Queen had to change not only a diaper, but pajamas and sheets too.
Chapter Two
The Princess repeated the first chapter later in the morning. But this time it was on the King and Queen's bed. So the Queen had to change those sheets too. But the King was awake in Chapter two and got to change the royal diaper and the royal PJs this time!
THE END

Adventures In Poop 2

or

Princess:1 Queen:0

Welcome to another episode of Adventures in Poop
In this episode we find our Princess early in the morning, awake and lying in bed with the King and Queen. The Queen decided to change the royal diaper because is was soaked with royal pee from the night before. At this time of the morning the Queen was quite tired. Partially because of the hour, partially because the Princess did not sleep well. Because the Queen was so tired, she was moving a bit too slow. The Queen took off the wet royal diaper and was just ready to put on a clean diaper, when the princess decided to poop. The royal poop went all over the royal pjs and a little bit on the Queen. The royal pjs were the kind that only snap up one leg. The royal poop went down the leg that had no snaps. The Queen was very excited about this (sarcasm here) because it was so easy to clean up (more sarcasm!). Thankfully the King was able to help clean up the royal mess. And the Kingdom went back to its normal day.
THE END